Reflection

So, as Kai naps and any second will wake up, I sit here looking out the window at the sunshine and hoping that this day will not go to waste.  But as I wait and peruse other people's blogs and their lives, I look at the other moms out there blogging about their great recipes, their irritations, their joy and their children.  I think.. who am I at this exact moment?  This blog is mostly about how Kai has entered our world and how his life is changing and how he has changed us.  But this blog is also about us.
Somer
I love water color paint and how it is soft and how it moves.  I love music that makes me cry or feel alive and want to dance or to get on a mic and sing really loud at a karaoke with my friends.  I love eating and will eat almost anything.  Sushi, donburi, comfort foods, pasta, korean bbq, thai noodles, indian curries with naan, kim chi, dim sum, things with hot melting cheese, spicy stuff... I love God.  I love my husband for all that he is and everything about him that is different than me that I can learn from.  I love learning new things and that sense of wonder, of beginnings, that a new concept or idea has arrived, of the light bulb turning on (which is probably why I became a teacher.)  I love cuddling and people who give affectionate hugs.  I love being a mom.  I love my friends who inspire me, who teach me, who draw me out, who understand me.  I love sunny days.  Especially flip-flop-sort-of-days.  I love getting dressed up and wearing makeup.  I love winning and accomplishing.  They are some of my best memories.  Humor seems to always make things better.  Why is that? Being weird can sometimes be very brilliant!  Familiarity and comfort are two of my best friends, but also can be my downfalls.  Same with TV.  I am loyal.  I work hard and can be pretty reliable and trustworthy, especially with secrets.  My first dreams in life were to be a butterfly and to be a ballerina.  I'm scared to talk in front of large groups, unless they are children.  I don't easily give my heart to just anyone.  I don't think I'm the easiest person to get to know.  My mom was one of my first heroes.  All my life has been learning how to say goodbye and also how to stay close at the same time.  Some of my favorite places in the world are the hot sandy beaches of Hawaii where I can soak up the sun and enjoy the scenery and the lush nature and sink my toes in the sand or cool off in the wonderful ocean, my old haunts and the small streets I'd ride my bicycle through in Kyoto, that one day in Paris just absorbing all the architecture and atmosphere and art and saying I'd one day return.  Oh! And DISNEYLAND will always be a magical place for me.  I don't understand people who can't love Mickey.  I'm still learning how to cook and take real satisfaction in seeing my husband truly enjoy something I've prepared.  I'm not the leader I wish I was.  I am always looking for a great leader who will motivate me.  I can do some pretty great things with the right coach. I'm a perfectionist--in a great way, clean, organized, doing things in that 110% Japanese job-well-done way, but also in an irritating, stressful, guilt-provoking, anal way.  I can't stand smutty literature.  I want to read something that keeps my attention, but isn't total smut and I'm not someone who will read something just because it is popular.  However, I will read something if it is recommended by a trusted friend.  I'm into Jane Austen, C.S. Lewis.  I believe that the ideals of true, pure religion and true, pure education match pretty similarly with the ideals of socialism.  Some good goals in life are to strive for purity and real-ness.  I can think in very hypocritical ways-- like I dislike greed and people's obsessions with money, but also, I can really enjoy the things that money can offer, like nice homes, traveling, ability to get good educations.  I'm learning to find value in people's character, godly values, spiritual values, the important stuff.  I spent most of my twenties trying to figure out who I was and once I had my son, I feel like I'm starting over again.  The build up to 30 was learning that I was a teacher, that I have a great husband, that I want to keep seeking after God.  Now, I'm 31 and who knows what's next!