Welcome to the world, baby Kai!

So, it has been a week now since Kai was born, but I wanted to get it all down before I forget what happened.
Last week, I had my OB appointment on Monday and as usual, I did not look forward to meeting with the OB. At PAMF, I switch off appointments between the OB and either a midwife or my regular physician. I always like seeing Dr. Serpa, my regular doctor, because she takes her time with me to explain things, answer questions, and she is very nurturing. I would leave her appointments feeling great. When I would go to the OB, she would always measure me shorter than Dr. Serpa and ask me to take extra blood, urine, or ultrasound tests. I should have gone with my initial instincts to schedule appointments with a different OB because since my first visit with her, I felt like I didn't click with her and her personality. I'd always leave those appointments feeling irritated.
So, anyways, last Monday the OB measured me short again and wanted me to take another ultrasound. I was upset and told her that I was really put off by extra or unnecessary tests b/c of all of my lupus tests a few years ago. I had to probe her as to the reasoning behind the ultrasound and was annoyed that she didn't communicate well with me exactly why I was taking the test and what it meant.
On Wednesday, I went to the ultrasound and the OB was right that Kai was not growing enough. He measured 5 pounds, 15 ounces. A month ago at an ultrasound he was measuring 5 pounds and everything looked great. They predicted that he would be a big baby, maybe 8 pounds or more! So, when I learned that he had only gained 15 ounces in a month, I was really disappointed and confused.
I got a call from the OB's assistant on Friday morning to go in for a non-stress test on a doppler machine to check that Kai was not stressed out and that he would be induced early before his due date. The tests went fine, but the OB there said that my blood pressure was high. I was really confused now b/c I have NEVER, EVER had issues with blood pressure. I have always had low or very good blood pressure. The doctor said she wanted me to go to the hospital for more tests and there was a good chance I'd be admitted over the weekend and induced. I asked her if she thought I should go home and get my bags and call my husband. She said yes.
On the way home, I wasn't sure if I should give Ryuta the "emergency call." Our code was to call 3 times in a row. ( I don't have text messaging and Ryuta doesn't usually pick up the phone during work, esp. meetings.) I knew that Ryuta was in a meeting, but I wasn't sure because I wasn't definitely being admitted. So, I called 2 times in a row. My cell phone was dying (of course) and I tried to call mom and dad. They weren't picking up (of course.) I called Candace because she would know where they were. They were playing golf. Candace texted dad. I came home and was a little excited, but also a little panicked. Did I forget anything? Does the hospital bag have it all? I remembered Judy said to take a shower before leaving home. It would be awhile before I might wash myself again. I didn't imagine heading to the hospital alone carrying my own hospital bag.
I got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the doppler which checks the baby's heart rate and contractions. Someone came in to draw my blood. The OB came in and said that my tests look fine and baby looks great, but she was going to admit me because there was no point in waiting since he wasn't growing. I called Ryuta to let him know and my phone was dying. I couldn't charge it b/c I was strapped to the bed. My mom called and was panicked, "Where are you!?" I told her to call my husband b/c my phone was dying. I just lay there and watched TV and felt fine. Finally, Ryuta and my parents showed up and mom and Ryuta were acting a little crazy and anxious. I told them that I changed my mind and perhaps just dad should stay in the room with me because he was the only one who was calm. They settled down and just wanted to know what was happening. Dad and Ryuta left to go get some food and Ryuta got his hospital bag. Nadia came over that night, too, to see me and to pray a little for the labor.
After people left, at 8PM the nurse put in this medicine on a string in me called cervidil which is supposed to soften my cervix and get it ready for contractions. They said that it would be in for 12 hours and if went well, I should be 2-3 cm dilated in the morning. I may or may not feel contractions.
Ryuta got settled for bed, but I couldn't sleep. I watched "Ratatouille" and tried to relax. Every few minutes I felt like I was having contractions and I didn't know how to breath properly. I had this IV thing in my wrist and doppler wires attached to my stomach. Ryuta kept saying "go to sleep", but I couldn't! I was mad b/c Ryuta was drifting off to sleep and I really wanted to sleep. I thought I could sleep that night to get ready for the big day. I kept waking Ryuta up and saying "not fair! you should stay awake with me." The nurse periodically came in to check on me and she asked me if I wanted pain relief, but I wasn't sure. I still didn't know if I could handle the pain and have a natural birth. I wanted to wait and see and see in the morning how far dilated I was. Ryuta said that if I needed it, I could take it. I told him that if I wasn't even 2 cm dilated I would take the drugs.
In the morning, the nurse said that I only had a few contractions and most of the pain throughout the night was just cramps. Also, I was barely even 1 cm dilated!!! So, I told them to bring on the pain relief.. it would be a long way until 10 cm and I really, really wanted to sleep badly before I would need to push.
They put fetinol in my IV and right away I felt the contractions go away and I felt so relaxed. Mom and dad came back and mom was teaching me how to breath and she was giving me hand and foot rubs. I felt so much better! Then, the drugs wore off and I told the nurse to give me some more and to keep it coming. They said they could only give me 3 doses and that we should spread them out. I told to give it to me NOW. They did, but I could feel the contractions this time. Mom was coaching me on breathing. Auntie and G showed up and were hanging out with everyone and trying to fan me b/c I was soooo hot. The nurse told me that fetinol was only really effective during early labor and my labor was progressing so it wasn't as effective. They asked if I wanted an epidural and without a question in my mind, no doubts, yes, yes, yes! I just wanted to sleep badly. All thoughts of natural birth were thrown out the door. The contractions were getting worse and I was getting so hot and irritable. Every little noise irked the heck out of me. The side conversations, Ryuta turning the sink on and the loud water... I just wanted a quiet, dim room where I could just have someone help me focus on breathing. It was hard to talk. The anesthesiologist came to put in the epidural block. I was scared b/c I heard that it might hurt or pinch, but I knew that I wanted that more than continuing the contractions. As soon as it worked, my body felt like it was on ice; frozen, cold, stiff. The nurse asked if I could feel the contraction and I couldn't. Yes!! Finally, I could sleep!!! Everyone left the room and I slept.
I woke up later to a rush of nurses running around me and moving my body. Kai's heart rate dropped and they were trying to get his heart rate back up. When they put in the epidural, they turned up the pitocin, which intensifies the contractions. Kai couldn't handle the large dosage of pitocin. The OB came in and said that they wanted Kai's heart rate back up, but if we couldn't get the contractions going again, then I would have an emergency c-section, but her goal would be a vaginal birth. They would just put the pitocin on low when his heart rate was better and see how it went. I don't remember when, but I think around this time, my epidural was wearing off and I started to feel things again and heat coming back to my legs. I got scared about feeling really intense contractions. The anesthesiologist came back and put some more drugs into my IV. This time it felt really hot..
I woke up again later to nurses rushing around and they had to turn the pitocin on lower. I was then 7-8 cm dilated and almost there!
The nurse kept coming to check me and see how far dilated I was and said that I would start to feel pressure down below with the baby's head. Ryuta, mom, and dad were getting excited because baby was almost here! Finally, I felt like the pressure down below was a lot. The nurse checked me and said," 10 cm. complete. you're ready to push." She coached me on what to do and they put my legs up in the stirups. My mom asked me if I only wanted Ryuta there, but at that point I didn't care. My parents were there the whole time and I was fine with sharing the moment with them, too.
Now that it was time to push, I was excited that I would see Kai soon. I heard babies crying in other rooms and it was weird that soon I would hear Kai cry, too, when he joined us. I would hear his little voice and see his little face. I was also really scared. Scared of the pain and this was the big moment that could hurt the most. On each contraction, I had to take a deep breath in and push 3 times with all my might and "bare down." I had to hold my legs back, but I felt like I didn't have the power. A nurse and my mom held my legs and I held handle bars. I played this tug-of-war game with the OB to pull on a cloth as I pushed. The nurses and the OB were trying to encourage me. Ryuta held my hand and was counting. I kept getting mad at him if he stopped counting. One nurse kept making side conversations with the others and with my dad and I was getting mad at her, but I couldn't even talk. I wanted to tell her to get out. At one point at the end, I felt like the OB and the nurses were getting frustrated with me like I was lazy and not really trying and wasting their time. It could have just been me, but that's how I felt. I remember the OB asking, "Do you want him out now? Do you want him out now or should we come back in an hour or two when you're ready?" I thought.. "what? I'm already here in the stirups and have been pushing.. why would I wait?" I second-guessed myself, but said "now!" The OB, Dr. Burrs, asked if I needed extra help b/c it seemed like I was having a hard time and didn't have the extra energy. She asked if I wanted her to use the vacuum. I would have to push and help her when she pulled. After she put it in and I pushed the 4th time, I was screaming b/c I felt him coming and all the nurses saying they saw his head.
I saw Kai's body drenched in thick, goopy, white stuff and placed on my tummy. I was so shocked that it was over and he was really out of me. They whisked him off to the table next to me to test him and Ryuta held him and my parents gathered around him to take a million pictures. I just remember still breathing hard and feeling like I was still pushing and in labor and how I was in a lot of pain. They delivered my placenta and the OB was stitching me up. They asked if I wanted to hold the baby, but all I could say was, "I can't even move. The pain, the pain."
Noah Kai Sanui was born at 6:14 PM on Saturday, September 26th. He was 5 pounds, 13 ounces and 18 inches long.
I got to hold Kai and tried to breast feed him for the first time. It hurt a little like he was biting my nipples, but I just couldn't believe that I was a mom now. I saw Ryuta cry and look at me like he was proud of me and thankful that I gave birth to our son. He's so happy and I think it finally hit him that Kai is here! It's weird to look at his face and think about all the time he was in me. God was forming his face and his little features and how he moves and behaves. It took a little while to get used to the fact that he was no longer inside of me and moving around.
We stayed at the hospital Saturday night, Sunday, and came home on Monday. Washington Hospital is great. The nurses were all so nice and I really felt taken care of. I was grateful that Dr. Burrs delivered Kai. She kept me updated and informed throughout the labor and came back on Sunday to check on me. On Monday, I didn't really want to go home yet b/c we were so taken care of. The nurses showed Ryuta and I what to do, how to swaddle, how to diaper, how to feed, etc. I hope that if we can have another baby in the future to deliver at Washington Hospital and also to try to get Dr. Burrs to be my OB. Also, the food looked like airplane food, but was pretty good!
Now, we're home and Kai is part of our home, our family, and our life. Welcome, Noah Kai Sanui. We love you! :)