So, I realized that I had not updated this blog in say... 10 months!?! And also, that a TON of stuff has happened since?!
I know that my last blog post was about my friend's death. It was so sad and still is. Just this past week a family from our church lost their oldest son in his fight with cancer. We had been praying continually, weekly for him for YEARS. He lost his 8 year battle to cancer and died at the age of 23. The older you get, the more death that touches your life and surrounds you. I didn't know Kyle, but I know his parents. At this time of year, I am saddened even more to think that this will be their first Christmas without him. This will be the first Christmas for Naomi without her mother. The memorial on Sunday was very emotional hearing his father share stories and sing a song to his son. Brian Hill (who is Luther Vandross incarnate) sang John Legend's "Everyday People" to the slide show. I thought about my own boys as I saw Kyle's life in pictures, seeing his little newborn face with his mother, seeing his smiling little boy face. I see my own boys' faces and think that in a second, they too could be gone...
Anyways, I'd like to record some of the events of the year for our family---
After a long battle with the owner of the tennis club, Christina Broadwin took over as club manager and re-opened the club. Some members had moved away or joined other clubs, but most re-joined. Ryuta is back playing tennis about once a week. I haven't picked up a racquet in a long time, so I haven't joined again.
Ryuta had a tough year at work with disappointing management and the pressure of a small company. We had many conversations this year about satisfaction. How do you find true satisfaction in life? It became clear that Ryuta could no longer work in the demanding, Japanese work environment of high-tech semiconductors. There was no motivation, no passion. The pay and benefits served our family well and I was able to stay home for 4 years with the kids. But, in the end, it just didn't pay enough to bring home our tired, miserable Ryuta who was always home late and did I mention miserable?! What did he want to try? What was he interested in? You only live life once and as long as we could pay our bills and not burden anyone, what did he want to try while we are still alive? Ryuta decided he wanted to get a license to be a hair stylist. He spoke to lots of salon owners and stylists and beauty schools. So, in August, Ryuta quit his job at Mirapro and is currently a stay-at-home daddy with the boys. He will start night school in January for an 18-month program. We are nervous, but excited.
For myself, I needed to and still need to pray a lot about the future of our family. I have seen God bless our family through these challenges. I think my being able to let go of the familiar and of the comfort to let Ryuta pursue his dreams has helped us to be the closest we've ever been. I've been praying that Ryuta and I would have a close, loving marriage where we'd be really happy with each other, really supportive of each other. I have such a hard time with change and this year has been about change. I had gotten very comfortable with staying home with our kids and was thinking that I'd go back to work part-time when the boys were in elementary school. I'd be able to volunteer in their classrooms and drive them to soccer practices. In the spring, I'd finally made the decision that I'd support Ryuta and that I'd go back to work. It only made sense since Ryuta hated his job and I've always enjoyed teaching. I interviewed all summer in Newark and in Fremont. It was humbling to me to get rejected from job interviews! Being a teacher had become such a strong part of my identity and I never felt insecure in that part of my life. I prayed to God that wherever he wanted me to be would be the first place that would call me. I didn't want to second guess or have to make any hard decisions when there were so many other things to stress about. In the end, I had 2 great interviews at the end of the summer on the same day. I felt really excited about my first interview and knew in my heart that if they called me I'd accept with great joy. However, the 2nd interview called me right away with an offer. I took it and then got a call right after from the first school. I know that God has still answered my prayer because my current job has been really great and good fit for me and for my family. The commute is so short. My co-workers are super nice and super helpful. My principal is very supportive, casual, and easy-going. I have an army of awesome parents who help out lots in my class. I'm teaching a familiar grade-level and I really do love my students. I had a hard first week or two. (I cried myself to sleep after the first day of school from exhaustion and confusion. Was I rusty?! Did I forget how to teach? I'd always been great with classroom management, but the jump from 20 3rd graders to 30 immature 2nd graders was a shock to my system. Did I make the wrong choice to work again?!) Well, everything has settled down for now and my chatty, quirky group of 2nd graders are very cute and likeable kids. I'm nervous though about when Ryuta starts night school on January 7th. He will go to school Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights and all day-Saturdays. It will be a hard 18 months, but I have to remember that this too shall pass and to view the future with excitement. I'm just nervous about how our energy levels will get through it. My mom and dad aren't ones to be tied down to help for too long. They have too many other things to do such as work, travel, entertainments, etc. But, I sure do hope they will take some pity on us and pitch in whenever they see us drowning under our own choices...sigh. Okay, positive thinking, positive thinking.
Our Kai-kai-- Kai had a wonderful finish to his year in Panda-gumi. He LOVED Naoko-sensei, his friends, and his Nishiyamato school. He participated in the oyugikai (song performance) and sports festival. He came home singing songs and pretending to be a teacher with walls and his piano. We kept him home for summer vacation and it was really relaxing to not have to launder school uniforms or pack school bentos. We got to move at our own pace and meet up with friends. Kai went to swim over the summer and started to get more comfortable with the water (as in he GOT IN the water.) He especially LOVED the water park and everytime we drive by he says, "There's Bucket Bay. I like Bucket Bay. When can we go to Buckey Bay?" I made the connection in the early summer that Kai is Shrek. Kai was always telling his brother (and me) to "go away." I told Kai about Shrek and how Shrek is an ogre who likes to stay by himself in his swamp. We watched the movie and Kai fell inlove. We had Shrek marathons throughout the summer and watched all the Shrek movies. Lukas, fittingly, is donkey, the little talkative creature who follows Shrek around, messing up his stuff. ALSO- we finally finished potty training!!!!!! As soon as we stopped caring, Kai improved more and the incentives of candy treats and ipad time helped, too. But, it was a lot of poopy pants to clean up for more than half of the year...At summer's end, I got a job and a lot of changes happened. I had been with both boys everyday since they were born and now I was going to work. Kai started in Koala-gumi class. We thought switching to Tuesday Thursday instead of MWF would be less stressful, but there were different kids in Kai's class. The school also changed locations and Koala-gumi has a different teacher, Maki-sensei. Ryuta was now around more. Kai started to deal with his stress through OCD. Our home was a series of walls and color-coding. Any false move and Kai would fall apart. He also started twitching his mouth, his eyes, his head, his body. We took him out of school in November and the twitching has stopped. I was really concerned that something was wrong with Kai. Did he have tourette's? How could we help him with his OCD? (I think FAMILY therapy would be crucial.) Ryuta took Kai to the neurologist who immediately and ignorantly said that Kai was autistic and gave us a letter of recommendation for Glankler special needs preschool. We will do evaluations with Glankler and will see a highly recommeded behaviorist in the spring. I'm trying to stay positive that we can get good help and to just love and accept Kai for who he is. He is very cute, smart, funny, affectionate, imaginative.
Lukas-- Lukas has changed from our bright-eyed, little pudgeball baby into a ROUGH-and-tumble, ROUGH, energetic, passionate little boy. He is very expressive with his feelings and I joke with Dad that their emotional DNA is very similiar (as in when Lukas gets angry, he cries easily and starts stomping around the place..) Lukas is very physical. He likes to wind up and throw things, hit things, wrestle with Kai and treat his big brother like his personal punching bag. Lukas still has the face of an angel with this round cheeks, big eyes and long eyelashes. He lights up the room with his smile and he has a very endearing personality. I love, love, LOVE that kid. He always wants to be included, has a way of getting someone to pick him up and play with him and give him whatever junky food item that he wants. He loves his big brother (who is pretty much is main playmate) Lukas is fearless in climbing, jumping, and doing whatever his 4 year-old brother is doing. Realistically, Lukas is our last baby and his quickness to grow up makes me sentimental and sad. :( Lukas is similiar to Kai in that he is very delayed with his speech. I am not as worried this time because Lukas is very expressive and shows signs that he understands. Kai knew more signing that Lukas and also spoke sooner. Lukas can sign "more, please, milk, water, apple, cereal, diaper, up, book." He makes sounds for dada, up, and.... well.. he mostly grunts and makes caveman-like noises.
Travels and other things-- We went to Monterey in February with mom and dad as a Christmas gift. Mom and I went on a mother-daughter weekend in September to Napa. Ryuta and I went to our church's marriage retreat in November. We had planned on a Kaui trip in September, but cancelled it because it eneded up coinciding with the 2nd week of school. We are traveling to southern California for the new year and Ryuta and I will visit Seattle next July.
This year brought many changes, but many blessings. My resolution for 2013 was to work on being more generous. I don't know so much that I reached any goal in that area although I do feel like I had to give and change more than ever before. God was very generous to us in our friendships. Two dear friends who had to go through IVF had their first children this year. We grew in many of our friendships with other couples and families.
For Halloween this year- Ryuta was a sumo, Kai was Shrek, Lukas was Toy Story alien (and Mickey Mouse), and I was a 2nd grade smart pants and a green super hero. We had fun trick-or-treating and going to Sergio & Nadia's Nacho Libre party (complete with thumb wrestling and a nacho bar.) We had a super fun Elf party for Christmas and hope to make them annual traditions. Anyways, that's all for now.
I don't know yet what 2014 will bring, but I'm hoping that Ryuta and I will make it through is first year of school successfully and together. I hope for rest and for energy. I hope that we won't just survive the year, but really love every moment. Hmmm. I will have to think about 2014's mantra words to focus on. 2012 was joy and gratitude. 2013 was generosity. 2014... energy?!
Well, merry Christmas and happy new year!!!
Somer & family
